Every yes is also a no.
Yes, I’ll coach little league is also a no, I won’t be home evenings.
Yes, I’ll work out to get healthy is also a no, I won’t sit on the couch and eat a bucket of ice cream in one sitting.
Yes, Lord is also a no, world.
Every I do is also an I don’t.
At the altar, I do give myself to my wife. Which means I don’t give myself to any other woman.
Every I will is also an I won’t.
I will pitch in around the house when I get home from work also means, I won’t come in the door and expect to be pampered.
I should’s are always I shouldn’ts.
I should be more patient. I shouldn’t lose my temper so often.
Sometimes we forget the second half of our commitments.
The negatively phrased side of our commitments is the cost counting side. It’s the keeper of specific details. When I choose to do something, I’m by definition not doing something else. What is that something else? Or something elses? Name them. Without the negative side, we leave ourselves wiggle room to back out or bail out entirely. It also means we haven’t thought through the implications. We haven’t counted the cost.
That said, it’s not healthy to define ourselves by who we’re not, or what we’re not doing.
The power of a commitment that works is unleashed when we understand and embrace both sides of the coin.
Oh this is SO good. reminding me of my son in law who left for ‘hunting’ for a week and a half leaving his wife and daughters alone for the 5th year in a row over thanksgiving weekend. My daughter says ‘its tradition.’ I say, it is selfish.
He has a family… when he says YES I will go play he is saying NO to traditional family memories. My daughter says she is ok with it. Yet she calls me at least 4 times a day ‘just to talk’. doesn’t that say she is lonely? sorry just really liked your ‘contrast’ writing. Every decision we make determines the outcome of another decision… sometimes our choices are wrong.
And it’s hard to watch other people make choices where we don’t think they’ve thought through the implications, isn’t it? Yeah.
Thankyou. I just had to ‘share’… knew you would understand. She says to me… next year we all will go ‘hunting’ together. She is talking about by then a 12 year old girl and two 7 year olds girls, in a cold environment, for week and half in the hopes of a ‘catch’ of an elk or a deer. The girls will be bored and I am sure ‘she will be too’. She says to me, “mom we will be a family.”
I just be quiet and listen and pray that next year… decisions will be different and the husband will do the right thing.
Hard… but it sounds like you’ve taken the right path in terms of your own responsibility.
Thank you for your kind words it means alot.
Well said! It’s a good reminder to consider both sides of our decisions. Thanks!