I’m waiting for the news.
Somewhere out there sits a board room table flanked with seasoned editors discerning whether the manuscript I’ve handed them will take another step toward becoming a Multnomah book. The meeting began at ten in the morning. It’s now 12:11pm.
So I’m waiting. Waiting for the news.
Hundreds of hours of dreaming. Hundreds more packed with writing, reworking, and sweating. Hundreds more wondering, waiting for this meeting.
My faith sits in this moment, precarious. Should I let my mind relish the possibility of another giant stride towards fulfilling a dream? I did that for a few minutes, then caught myself. That would be delicious. But things could go the other way. The moment could be ripe for a “Hey, Brad. We really like your manuscript but we just don’t think…” I’ve let that one play out for a minute or two as well, just enough to balance the sweetness of my hope with the potentially bitter pill I may have to swallow.
But I’m back now, trying to stay in the moment where I currently exist. Perched here, I feel more peace than I thought I’d feel. I think I’ll be okay regardless of whether this journey continues down the garden path or doubles back to the drawing board.
Because my faith, you see, isn’t in an outcome, it’s in a Person. I trust Jesus, not my personal wish list. Don’t get me wrong; if the manuscript is rejected, I’ll grieve. I’m a highly invested human, after all.
But ultimately, this thing is bouncing around somewhere beyond my reach, in someone else’s court. And I have to trust that God will speak to them, soften them, work through them. It’s hard, but faith is a choice.
A choice to abide with Christ in the hollow place found between dreams and disappointments.
What about you? Where do you stand perched between a dream and a disappointment? What is God teaching you in the midst of the waiting?