Man, yesterday’s epiphany felt good. I mean, the air was crisp, I was hearing God clearly, filled with joy…
And then I decided to play an online video game. I love e’m. I love the excitement, the outlet, the mindlessness of it all when I’ve spent my whole day using my mind like a rikshaw in Manilla (is that how you spell rikshaw?).
Yeah, well, yesterday I got a little too overheated while playing. I’m pretty sure some of the other players were cheating. CHEATING? How can you enjoy yourself knowing you aren’t succeeding on your own mad skills? AGGGH. I started muttering under my breath. Then it got louder. “C’MON, THAT’S CHEATING!” AND LOUDER. AND LOUDER.
I was yelling at the TV screen. I had an itchy scalp, sweaty palms, a flushed face, and I have to admit, a few less than godly words spewed from my mouth. That stopped me in my tracks.
“Oh,” I said. “Yuck.” And then my bubble burst, as the gentle conviction of the Holy Spirit settled on me. I sighed. “Where did THAT come from?” he asked. I was ashamed. Ashamed, with a big A. Cause I know better. I’m a nice person. And I’m an adult. A christian. But stuff still lurks deep within my soul, stuff that God will even use a video game to excise up and out into the light so I can’t deny it.
Touch that part of me, Lord Jesus, those ugly, angry, petty parts of me that are so unChristlike that they’d still resort to bad language in a pinch. I don’t want it, don’t want any of it. I want to be like you, but more, I want to be full of you all the time. Thanks for showing me my sin. Now I give you permission to root it out. Amen.
How about you? You got any of those petty, angry places that God wants to touch?