Today I am utterly spent, as I just confessed to a friend. Sapped and sponge-dried. Baked, but not fried. At least there’s that. There is a mountain in front of me, an unyielding hunk of mammoth rock that must be climbed, not moved. I’m still just ten paces up from base camp, and my heart is wilting already. The hurricane around me has finally taken its toll.
“But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story. The Voice of Truth says “Do not be afraid.” and the Voice of Truth says, “This is for my glory.” So with all the voices calling out to me, I will listen and believe the Voice of Truth.” ~ Casting Crowns, Voice of Truth.
I’ll be okay. More specifically, I’m not okay, but I will be, if that makes any sense. There’s some serious stuff I need to pray about today. As busy as I am, I know that prayer isn’t taking time away from work, it is the work. Or at least, it frees and empowers it.
1. My schedule/rhythm. I’ve overdone it. I’ve got no margins for unpredictables lately, like I’ve planned a race down to the last second, counting on absolutely nothing changing my plan in any way. That’s a foolish place to live.
2. If there’s anything I can drop, I should.
3. If there’s anything in my heart that’s causing me to carry more emotional baggage than I need to, I need to let that go and give it to Jesus.
4. There is often a single truth, a half-twist on something we think we already know, that would turn the lights on and make all the difference if we could just see it. Kinda like one of those, “Oh, well, that’s different! Why didn’t you just say so?!” kinds of moments. And God says, “Uh, I was saying so. You’re just kinda dense.” (That’s a joke, BTW. I’m thoroughly dense, not kinda).
5. If you’ve got any wisdom for me, please share it – if you think God wants me to hear it.
6. We often ask God to make us strong when we are weak, and he often supplies the strength we need. But sometimes, folks, we don’t need to be strong. We need him to be strong for us. Sometimes when it’s all said and done, we’ve been used in our weakness, and we’re left that way, but God has worked anyway. And I’m fine with that. Paul actually rejoiced in it. His presence is more requisite than our strength, and his presence is a given.
“You, O God, keep my lamp burning. My God turns my darkness to light.” (Psalm 18)