Sometimes God puts his hand on my head (or at least, that’s the sensation I get), and my skull literally tingles. Sometimes I feel like something like liquid light is filling me. God has laid me flat out sometimes, as if his glory is so heavy that I can’t stand in his presence. Once or twice, I’ve experienced his presence as heat. And on a few occasions, I’ve actually seen his shekinah glory manifest. The best way I can describe it is to have you imagine to the Northern Lights dancing in front of you, except up close and much more colorful. Once God’s presence was so palpable that it unglued me, prompting me to sputter out loud, “WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
All that said, I have a confession to make. I rarely feel the presence of God.
Strange, you might think, given the stories I’ve just shared. Curious, you might think, since I’m a pastor. Disappointing, you might think, because I’ve created a website called www.presencevoicetouch.com, dedicated to helping people tune in to the presence, voice, and touch of Jesus Christ in their lives. But it’s true.
I used to spend hours trying to feel him. Trying to connect with him. But not anymore. Why? Because feeling him is just this side of irrelevant. He’s there, that’s the main thing. Whether I see or feel him is secondary. When I do, baby, it’s like pure gold. A cherry on top of an already incredible dessert. But when the feelings or goosebumps aren’t there, the only thing that’s changed is my perception, which is narrow and fickle at the best of times.
Better than feeling I KNOW God is with me. In me. Above me. Beside me. Even beneath me, upholding me. I love him so much!