I have brainless children.

It’s minus 27 today, the kind of cold that bites you, sucks your exposed skin like a vampire, and leaves you undead. Got the picture?

So I thought I’d be superdad this morning by getting up at 6:30am to warm up the car so I could drive Noah and Glory to the bus stop and let them sit in the car until the bus arrived. Which I was happy to do. Sort of. I mean, it’s really cold.

So imagine my surprise when I glanced back at my lovely angel of a daughter and discovered that she hadn’t worn any mittens. Who knew God had daft angels? Grunting and muttering some early morning vitrol that began with “You have GOT to be kidding me…” I wrenched the car back toward the house to retrieve Glory’s mittens. Silly kitten.

And I keep muttering… about how now I’m going to have to take a big chunk of my morning, which is supposed to be a weekly date with their mother, to drive them to school because they’re going to miss their bus.

“Do YOU have any mittens?” I asked Noah, half expecting the same answer.


Except his definition of “mitten” apparently includes mini-mitts—those miniscule, paper thin cotton stretchy nearly useless things you can buy for a dollar a pair.

“Uh, no,” I muttered again as we pulled back up to the driveway. “Get a real pair.”

Noah is a pre-teen with a growing thirst for being a pain in the butt and arguing about it, but even he embraced wisdom in this moment and jumped out of the car to get a real pair of mitts.

Luckily, we still caught the bus. But I drove home, still muttering. Kicked off my boots, muttering. Found Shauna downstairs, and relayed the whole story. Beginning with the line, “Well, our brilliant children…”

…are no dumber than I am at times as a child of God. And my heavenly father does a whole lot more than drive me back to the bus stop when I screw up. Best thing is, he doesn’t mutter.

I’ve been trying to teach my kids that they can’t control other people’s choices, words, and actions. All they can control are their own responses.

Time to take my own advice.

Oh, the doorbell just rang. It was my kids, back at the door… because they’re too cold. Huh. Really. The bus hasn’t showed up yet. Guess I’ll be driving them to school after all.

Good thing I had this little chat with God, so my attitude is actually pointing North now.