First, an update: Yesterday I didn’t have a migraine. Finally. Praise God. I’m experimenting with Taurine supplementing, and from what i’ve read, I may be on to something. Hmmm.

But now for what I’m learning. Hebrews 12:1,2 says I’m supposed to “fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith.” Fix my eyes on. Give my undivided attention to. Consider. Enjoy. Meditate on. Be attentive to. Be preoccupied with. Obsess about.

It’s the posture of dependence. We look to what or whom we are dependent on, don’t we? To use another metaphor, our addictions and our idols capture our attention, lock it in, keep us focused.

Jesus says, “I want to be that focal point. I want to capture your heart and mind.” Why? “So that I can give you what you need and guide you in every step you take. So that everything I am and have and give can be yours continually.”

Oh.

But lately I haven’t been fixing my eyes on Jesus. I’ve been glancing up at him from time to time like a daddy too busy with work stuff to give his kids the time of day: He flips his eyes up: “What, Jimmy. Oh, yeah. That’s really cool, son. But daddy’s working.” And the eyes drop to the work again.

I’ve been giving God the nod, but not my heart. Not my passion. I’ve been shooting glances his way, but not really beholding him continually. I lob prayers his direction, but honestly… I know it’s not enough.

I’m not talking about guilt, though I do have some. I’m talking about longing, about knowing that I’m missing God’s best because my eyes are on the wrong thing.

What about you?